A Phone Call
by Dattebayo Girl
Summary: Mello goes a week without chocolate,and the result? Matsuda may be scarred for the rest of his life... Pure Crack.


All I have to say is thank goodness for friends. They provide plenty of inspiration for crack.

This spoils something I'm sure, I'm just not sure what…

Death note isn't mine.

--

It was a normal day. Light was busy doing something or other… Mogi was sitting on the couch, enjoying himself some tea, and Aizawa and Ide were yelling at Matsuda about something he said, once again.

"Guys!" Matsuda yelled over them "I was kidding!" He scratched his head "Can't you all take a joke?"

"You two should relax." Light said without turning from his computer.

"Light-kun, you would need to relax too." Matsuda said, leaning on the couch. "I know we need to catch Kira and all, but everyone is really tense and-" Matsuda's phone started to ring loudly, causing Mogi to spill his tea, Aizawa and Ide to jump, and Matsuda to fall over. Yep. No one in that room was tense. 'Secret Agent Man' continued to play as Matsuda got up complaining and rubbing his head. Light blinked and looked up at the computer. "Matsuda, pick up your phone now. It's Mello." Everyone looked at Light shocked. "How can it be Mello?" Matsuda asked "How did he get my number?" "It doesn't matter now." Aizawa said, grabbing an ear piece. Everyone followed suit "Just pick it up Matsuda; it could be useful information to the Kira case."Matsuda nervously got his phone and answered it. Before he spoke, he heard Ide say something about a dorky ring tone.

"Ah, Hello?" Matsuda asked, right as Soichiro walked into the room with a drink. Getting the message quickly, he grabbed an ear piece also.

"Who is this?" A strong voice asked from the other line. As normally required of him, Matsuda gave his first name and a false last name. Mello accepted it. "I've got a question to ask you." He said in a mysterious voice. Matsuda's grip tightened on his phone as everyone looked at him. "Ask away…?" He said, his voice slightly high pitched and cracking.

"Do you want some toe chocolate?" There was silence. "Hello?" Mello asked "You still there?"

"Y-Yea." Matsuda replied, a little choked.

A weird laugh rang in everyone's ears. "I think you want some toe chocolate" Matsuda shook his head. "Erm, n-no thank you Mello-san…"

"Hey! Hey!" The task force heard over the phone "Some one get me some toe chocolate! We're gonna send it over to our friend in Japan!"

Light stared at the screen. This was obviously some plot to reveal him as Kira, but why call Matsuda? And what's with this strange act Mello was putting on? It didn't add up!

"Oi, what is the boss talking about?" another voice was heard.

"Oh boy, the boss found his phone! Hang it up!" a third voice yelled.

"Sorry, erm wrong number." The second voice said into the phone. "Hey!" Yelled Mello "Give that back-" The line went dead.

There was silence in the room with the 6 men in it. With a sigh of relief, Matsuda hung up. "Do we…" he sounded hesitant "Have to save this conversation? I'd rather not recall it… ever again." "I'm with Matsuda on this one." Ide said nodding.

Without warning, 'Secret Agent Man' started up again. With a yell of alarm, Matsuda's phone went flying up, and then fell into Mogi's tea cup. "It's Mello again…." Light said. Mogi shook off the phone and handed it to Matsuda, who, after gulping loudly, picked up. "Hello-"

"MATSUDAAAAAAAA" Mello yelled over the phone "HAVE MY BABY!"

"..."Matsuda's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the ground, the phone sliding across the floor. It must have been the work of Kira! No, never mind, he just fainted. Soichiro jumped up and got to work, trying to revive him.

"Hello?" Mello asked again. "Matsuuuuuuu?" A sob was heard "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" The line went dead again.

"What the hell…" Light muttered as the other men did their best to revive the poor fainted man. "What is Mello planning?" --

"You dumbass!" One thug yelled at another "Why the hell would you say something to Mello like that?!" "I didn't know he would take me seriously!" The second thug yelled. "All I said it that he couldn't go without chocolate for a week! I didn't know he heard me! And I didn't know he would go all crazy without it!" That was what happened indeed. A challenge was taken by Mello to not have chocolate for a whole week, and it might have had some… side effects… The two thugs looked in the living room to see Mello sitting on the thug he had tackled to get his phone back. The Mafia boss was crying his eyes out, when Matt walked in with a Nintendo DS. Mello sniffled as Matt sat down on the couch.

"He doesn't love me…" Mello said, looking at his friend. "Who cares?" Matt asked, not looking up from the screen "Who ever he is, you can just shoot him later on." Mello's eyes became big and sparkly. "Really?!" Matt nodded. "Now, can you eat some chocolate? You being chocolate deprived is scary, to say the least."

--End--

Ha, this deserves an explanation. Well, I'm Matsuda, and I have friends who are Near, Mello and Beyond Birthday (you might not know who he is. He's not from the anime.) Also, L is B's boyfriend (L is the only boy out of the 5 of us XD) Well, Beyond, Mello and Near were at a sleepover, and Matsu couldn't come, so Matsu texted them, and Mello asked if Matsu wanted to have toe chocolate, then later, his baby. Now, Matsu didn't faint, but he did ask Mello if he was drunk. (To which Mello said possibly) I just added a few extra things to the fanfiction, but this A/N is completely true, and it makes for great crack


End file.
